My Easy Year: Breast Cancer, Narrative Reckoning, and the Art of Creating a Dissertation

Abstract

A serious illness acts as a break to one’s routine and wrecks a life’s narrative (Frank, 2013). A serious illness can force one to examine the weave of their life—past, present, and future—in unexpected ways (Lorde, 1980/2020). I learned this firsthand when, late in my doctoral studies, I was diagnosed with breast cancer after a routine mammogram screening. The diagnosis, treatment, and on-going side effects left me with one question: How am I supposed to get through this (creating a dissertation) after going through that (cancer)? To answer that question, I turned to arts-based research practices (Leavy, 2015; Loveless, 2019; Springgay & Irwin, 2005). In this non-traditional “braided” dissertation (Miller, 2021), I use creative writing (personal stories, journal entries, and doctor’s charting notes), textile arts (knitting, felting, weaving, and quilting), and photographic practices (black-and-white darkroom work and the cyanotype process) to examine my past, present, and future. At the same time, I incorporate research and theory from medical sociology to ground my personal experience in a larger cultural context. I explore the illness narratives I tell (Frank, 2013) and consider how they align with or resist American breast cancer culture and the expectation that women are made “better” by having cancer (Ehrenreich, 2001; Sulik, 2011). I argue that there is no conclusion to breast cancer, even though the broader culture may call for one. Ultimately, this dissertation resists dominant breast cancer culture and adds nuance and complexity to breast cancer stories. It also demonstrates how artistic practices and academic research can be used to make sense of the existential crisis that a serious illness can trigger in one’s life.