“You can’t do recovery without forgiveness”: insights from couples navigating addiction recovery.

Abstract

Forgiveness plays a crucial role in addiction recovery, particularly in relationships where one partner is in recovery from substance use disorder (SUD) and the other is not. This study explores how self-forgiveness, interpersonal forgiveness, and divine forgiveness manifest and interact within these relationships, shaping both personal and relational healing. While existing research has examined these forms of forgiveness independently, little is known about their interconnected impact in the context of addiction recovery.Using interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA; Smith, Flowers, & Larkin, 2009), this qualitative study captures the lived experiences of individuals in recovery and their partners. Findings revealed that forgiveness was not a single event but a dynamic and evolving journey. Spirituality emerged as a foundational force, with many participants relying on faith to navigate the tension between control and surrender. Self-forgiveness proved particularly complex, often requiring years of reflection and emotional labor. Interpersonal forgiveness was described as both transformative and burdensome, with participants wrestling with the endurance required to repeatedly forgive relapses and past betrayals. Despite these challenges, forgiveness was ultimately experienced as a form of liberation—allowing individuals to release shame, rebuild trust, and move toward a future defined by resilience rather than regret. These findings highlight the complex yet transformative role of forgiveness in addiction recovery, underscoring its significance in reducing shame, fostering emotional and relational healing, and promoting long-term recovery. This study contributes to a deeper understanding of forgiveness within addiction-affected relationships and informs clinical interventions, faith-based support, and couples counseling.